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Lightning strikes men about seven times more often than it does women
And Now You Do
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25:8, Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbour hath put thee to shame.
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #154
Writing Columns
February 17th, 2003
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You know, I really did not think this column would go on for more than a year or two at the most, but we just passed the three-year mark and have strolled right into the fourth year of Kerens.Com in the Kerens Tribune. Actually, the four year mark passed by so fast I accidentally missed it. That mark happened with the column last week when St. Valentine got caught fooling around outside of the law and unfortunately was parted with his head.
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Posted by webmaster on Saturday, August 25 @ 12:12:24 EDT (693 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #153
Don't Forget The Candy
February 10th, 2003
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The Emperor was getting awful mad. Once more his army must be sent to the borders of Rome and once more the homeland must be defended. “First I need more men!” thought Claudius and thus a notice was sent throughout the Empire; “Uncle Emperor Wants You.” Although he did not have a red, white, and blue top hat, he did possess a crown of gold obtained most certainly through honest toil and sweat. No doubt about it.
It was not long before old Claud realized there was a problem. Not many men were lining up to participate in this glorious endeavor and he could not understand why. They were only going to be traveling for a year or two searching for more barbarians to butcher. They might die during the march to the wastelands, but it was no more than a fifty-fifty chance.
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Posted by webmaster on Monday, August 20 @ 23:54:36 EDT (706 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #152
NASA Discovery Shuttle
February 3rd, 2003
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It’s so cold and gloomy on this Friday night, January 27th in the year 1967. I am in my parents ’65 Ford heading east across the old narrow two-lane Trinity River bridge heading towards the land of the Malakoff Tigers. One of those Tigerettes is waiting for me in that cross-river town and this teenager is ready for a big weekend to begin. The radio is turned up too loud and the Buckingham’s are blaring out a rendition of “Don’t You Care.” Almost similar to a 21st century rap song, but maybe not too similar. The music suddenly stops and a voice over the radio plainly announces, “Apollo I astronauts Gus Grissom, Roger Chaffee, and Ed White have died by fire today on the launch pad.”
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Posted by webmaster on Monday, August 13 @ 13:12:23 EDT (704 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #151
The Closing of Super K-Mart
January 26th, 2003
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I know some of you have seen the beginning of this monumental ground breaking event, but for those who have not, listen up. The shovels have been put into the ground and the long anticipated construction of the Corsicana Super-Walmart has begun. I would say right on schedule, but its not. It still bites me right in the rear end that it has taken the Corsicana Chamber of Commerce this long to get the job done. Better late than never. As I said in a previous column some time ago, Corsicana will have the newest Super Wal-Mart in the area, no doubt about it.
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Posted by Webmaster on Thursday, August 09 @ 14:08:30 EDT (670 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #150
The Super Bowl 2003
January 19th, 2003
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This month right here has got to be the absolutely best month of the year. January beats all of the rest of them hands down with no contest. Here we are all rested up from the holidays and getting ready to leap back into the saddle. All of those new resolutions are written down and being strictly observed as we make our way through each day. The weather is not going to get any colder and springtime is looking you right in the eye. Is that it? Is that what makes January the Superstar of the twelve months of the year?
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Posted by Webmaster on Thursday, August 02 @ 16:29:53 EDT (650 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #149
Rings and Potter Movie Race
January 12th, 2003
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Have you seen the “Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers” yet? An interesting race at the movies has been working itself out during the last few months, in fact as interesting as I have seen in quite a while. Keeps all of us movie buffs intrigued as the astronomical movie dollars continue to mount up.
Remember last year when the “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” debuted at the theatres? I wrote a column about it discussing the debate revolving around whether the chief competitor, namely, “Harry Potter: The Sorceror’s Stone” was better or worse. Harry Potter was the new kid on the block at the time where the Ring man was half a century old. Here is what happened during the end of the year 2001.
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Posted by webmaster on Wednesday, July 25 @ 17:24:10 EDT (612 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #148
New Year's Eve at the Alumni Center
January 6th, 2003
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New Year’s Eve night was a big time on the Main Street of Kerens as the last hours of 2002 hummed down to the end of those red bricks. Of all the events that have been held in this downtown facility, I heard multiple people mention this was the best one they had attended yet. If you counted all of the smiling faces milling around the tables and how many people were still there as the midnight bell rang in the New Year, well the numbers speak for themselves.
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Posted by webmaster on Monday, July 23 @ 12:03:06 EDT (742 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #147
New Year's Resolutions
December 30th, 2002
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It’s 2003, first week of the year, first edition of the Tribune, and time to get started working on all of our New Year’s resolutions. In other words, holidays are over now and time to shave and get to work. Get rid of your vices. Lose twenty pounds. Exercise and build Olympic muscles. Save ten thousand dollars. No more cigars. Throw out the whiskey. Go to church every Sunday morning and every other Sunday night.
No problem Mr. Resolution Man. Anybody can do it.
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Posted by webmaster on Wednesday, June 27 @ 00:25:49 EDT (673 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #146
The Wedding of Jamie Kay Inmon
December 16th, 2002
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I could not see his eyes for he was too far away, but I know they were beginning to blur. The emotions had been building throughout the on looking crowd and even the murmurs of quiet conversation had lulled and died away into the silent night. Looking across the stage that had been carefully put together piece by piece, the color of red dominated in contrast to the dark black gowns and the same colored tuxedo’s worn by the twin lines of solemn attendants.
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Posted by Webmaster on Monday, June 25 @ 14:12:40 EDT (742 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #145
Tribune Christmas Party
December 9th, 2002
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Christmas parties are all around us this time of year and I hope each and everyone of all you loyal Kerens Tribune subscribers have a merry time at yours. We are all so lucky to have the Tribune right here in front of us continuing to defy the odds of survival for small town newspapers everywhere. How does the Tribune do it? It is done with your continuing support and the support of hometown business owners. You should all be proud of yourselves.
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Posted by webmaster on Monday, June 18 @ 11:43:26 EDT (975 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #144
Don't Want To
December 2nd, 2002
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From the depths of dark circumstance, the world has disappeared and is silently waiting to be found again. It knows it has many disguises, but it also knows of its unfathomable brightness. Somewhere it exists and somewhere it can be seen, but right now it is not where I want to go. I hide from it and believe I cannot be seen, but inevitably it senses I am here again and begins to turn my way. From a distance I hear the slow rumble of a silent sound and can see it as it weaves its way toward eyes that do not see. Eyes shut and unseeing, but eyes that know the unwanted is coming.
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Posted by webmaster on Monday, June 11 @ 14:10:38 EDT (662 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #143
No More Christmas
November 25th, 2002
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I am not going to do Christmas this year. That’s the end of it. No cooking the turkey and all of the deserts and all of the dirty dishes. All of those crowds at the shopping malls and the endless lines at the checkout counter, not this time. Looking at this gift and looking at that gift while making sure everyone’s name has been marked off of the list. No way. Christmas carols on every radio station and Christmas movies on every television station. As soon as I see “It’s a Wonderful Life” show up on the TV screen, the clicker is going to fire up and change the channel. No Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed in my house this year. In fact, I am going to leave town and go on a cruise in the Caribbean and leave Christmas completely behind. Adios Santa Claus.
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Posted by webmaster on Tuesday, June 05 @ 16:44:11 EDT (616 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #142
Sensitivity Training
November 18th, 2002
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Everybody in Kerens is a redneck, no doubt about it. All Kerens people drive pickups and have guns either behind or underneath the seat. Oh, and don’t forget the dog in the back of the pickup either. When you lean over, you either spit snuff or a wad of chewing tobacco out on the street. When your forehead sweats, you pull your hat off and wipe your face with a red bandana, and then you swat flies with it and put it back on. In every Kerens living room hangs a portrait of John Wayne, and whenever we hear the words “Bill Clinton” we all hiss and spit like rattle snakes.
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Posted by webmaster on Thursday, May 24 @ 23:29:52 EDT (642 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #141
Homecoming Dance at the Alumni Center
November 11th, 200
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That last dance we had at the Alumni Center at Homecoming, it was a good one. I can say that even though I never hit the floor a single time but instead enjoyed many other aspects of these once in a while events. Even if you do not dance, this is an event where you can listen to the music, you can watch the hometown folks have a good time, and be up town on Main Street on a Saturday night enjoying a good session of conversation with friends.
On this particular homecoming night, I got to see all three of the Tekell sisters together for the first time in several hundred moons. Melinda, Glenda, and Tanya sitting at side by side tables right next to the Main Street where they all grew up as little girls in Kerens. These girls and their late parents, Billy Bob and Marilyn, have been a big part of Kerens for many years.
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Posted by Webmaster on Monday, May 21 @ 14:48:18 EDT (608 reads)
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Tribune Columns: Kerens.Com #140
Homecoming Golf Tournament
November 4th, 2002
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As the sun popped over the horizon, the members of each team were stretching their muscles and getting ready to make a run for the grand prize. An air of nervous electricity was crackling around us as each player wondered how he would perform when the chips were finally pushed to the middle of the table. Would the correct decision be made during a time of critical need, or would that neck collar tighten up and cause the dreaded choke to cloud the day.
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Posted by Webmaster on Friday, May 18 @ 15:11:16 EDT (643 reads)
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184 _STORIES (13 _PAGES, 15 _PERPAGE)
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 The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
-- Alan Coult
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| Tuesday, July 22 | | · | Kerens.Com #169
Student Scholarships
June 2nd, 2003 |
| Monday, June 02 | | · | Kerens.Com #168
First Time to India
May 26th, 2003 |
| Monday, April 14 | | · | Kerens.Com #167
Annika Sorenstam & Golf
May 19th, 2003 |
| Friday, April 04 | | · | Kerens.Com #166
Mother's Day at KESA
May 12th, 2003 |
| Thursday, March 27 | | · | Kerens.Com #165
Dayton Flight Museum
March 5th, 2003 |
| Tuesday, January 01 | | · | Kerens.Com #164
Speed Bumps
April 28th, 2003 |
| Thursday, December 27 | | · | Kerens.Com #163
KESA Easter Luncheon
April 21st, 2003 |
| Tuesday, November 27 | | · | Kerens.Com #162
KESA Easter Luncheon
April 14th, 2003 |
| Tuesday, November 13 | | · | Kerens.Com #161
Born in the U.S.A.
April 7th, 2003 |
| Saturday, November 03 | | · | Kerens.Com #160
Puppy Dog
March 31st, 2003 |
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